Happiness, Suffering & the Illusion of a Problem-Free Life

You’re standing at a turning point.
Something doesn’t feel right anymore.

Maybe the world feels overwhelming.
Maybe your work, your relationship, or your direction in life feels off.
Maybe nothing is wrong — and yet, nothing feels truly right.

Trust me: you’re not alone.

Moments like these aren’t signs that life is failing.
They’re invitations to look deeper at how we relate to what is.

The uncomfortable question beneath it all

When things get difficult, a familiar pattern appears:

Is politics to blame?
My partner?
My employer?
The circumstances?

We search for external reasons — and often find them.

But what if the deeper issue isn’t what is happening,
but how we believe life should be happening?

The illusion of a problem-free life

Most of us live with a quiet, unspoken expectation:

If everything works out,
if plans succeed,
if pain stays away,
then I’m allowed to be happy.

And yes — that works.

Until it doesn’t.

Because life will eventually do what life always does:

• plans collapse
• control disappears
• pain enters
• chaos unfolds

And when that happens, happiness seems to vanish.

Not because life is broken —
but because we believed it wasn’t supposed to be this way.

The truth we tend to overlook

Problems are not a malfunction of life.
They are part of being human.

Suffering doesn’t start with the problem itself.
It starts one step later:

• when we believe problems shouldn’t exist
• when we search for someone to blame
• when we see ourselves as powerless
• when we postpone happiness to “later”

This creates an inner resistance to reality.

And that resistance is what turns pain into suffering.

Suffering is born from resistance

Pain is inevitable.
Suffering begins when we internally say:

“This shouldn’t be happening.”

The more we resist what is,
the more tightly it holds us.

It’s not the event that traps us.
It’s our identification with it.

What we fight, stays.
What we accept, starts to move.

Acceptance is not giving up

This is where many people misunderstand acceptance.

Acceptance does not mean:

• approving of everything
• becoming passive
• stopping action

Acceptance means:

I stop arguing with reality.

Only then does clear action become possible.
Before that, everything is reaction.

Why we need suffering — without glorifying it

Human growth doesn’t happen in comfort zones.
It happens at the edges:

• loss
• fear
• meaning crises
• responsibility
• freedom

Yes — this is suffering.

Not destructive,
but transformative, when allowed.

If we don’t consciously meet these edges,
life still confronts us — just in less integrated ways:
aggression, projection, escalation.

Passion: chosen suffering

The word passion itself contains suffering.

Passion is voluntarily chosen suffering:

• physical
• emotional
• existential

When we devote ourselves to something meaningful —
sport, art, a calling —
we accept discomfort without fighting it.

And that makes all the difference.

This kind of suffering:

• brings vitality
• creates dignity
• concentrates energy instead of wasting it

The human dilemma, clearly stated

We don’t suffer because we have problems.
We suffer because we believe:

• we shouldn’t have any
• someone else is responsible
• we can’t do anything about them
• happiness is only allowed later

And with that belief, we give our power away.

Happiness is not a reaction to circumstances

Happiness is not a reward for a problem-free life.

✨ Happiness is a function of accepting what is.

Not because everything is good —
but because we stop fighting reality internally.

Anyone can be happy when life flows smoothly.
Remaining grounded when it doesn’t —
that is inner sovereignty.

A quiet conclusion

Problems don’t lose their power when we fight them.
They lose it when we stop identifying with them.

We solve problems by letting go of the problem.

Not because it disappears. But because we become free to act again.

And often — it passes, all by itself.

Quiet regards,
Christoph